Ok, boys...
I've been on quite a few dates and I've learned something: some of your ideas.... they suck.
That may sound Harsh, but I have had it with the LAMEO dates! Get friggin creative! And I'm not saying the type of goofy creative ideas that they pass out in institute and at church (for example. one suggestion on this huge paper I got was "backwards trick or treating". You dress up in costumes and walk around the neighborhood giving out candy... what the heck?)
Anyway, I really have had it. And I'm sure a lot of other girls have too. So here is a list of things you shouldn't do for dates, k? (disclaimor, maybe some of these would be fun. but I'm talking SPECIFICALLY about first dates. ya with me? alright let's go!)
1) Miniature Golf. Please ask yourself, "When I tell her we are going mini golfing, will she start to smile from ear to ear with giddy excitement?" The answer, fellas, is HELL NO! It's like you just told her that you were too lazy to really do anything that would peak to her interests at all.
2.) Bowling. If you are intending on looking at your date's backside during 50% of your date, by all means, maybe this is the date for you-- but otherwise, save the girl from stinky shoes and questionable bowling ball holes. see Jim Gaffigan Bowling Sketch on Youtube for more reasons why NOT to.
3.) "Marathon Dates". Ok, maybe this works for BYU students on Mountain Dew. But let me bring you down to earth and tell you that planning 8 dates for 1 person in 1 day can be the most tiresome, annoying thing you ever bring upon yourself and your date. A date that lasts longer than 3-4 hours should be reserved for some special person who is used to your sadistic schemes.
4.) Fishing. It's something you do with your grandpa while eating BBQ potatoe chips and tuna sandwiches. nuff said.
5.) Free meals if you listen to Fire Safety Lectures for 2 hours. No joke people, it happened.
6.) Going to your neighbor's kid's play that they put on in their living room. I get how this would be fun and cute... but seriously? How awkward for a first date. You're in this strange person's living room for an hour and a half watching children you don't know play. That either qulaifies as babysitting or being a pedifile. You tell me...
7.) Guitar Playing. I know Boys, that some of you are good (or think you are good) at playing the guitar. But asking a girl to sit in your front room while you play the guitar and sing for her is torturous. Do you really think that you are wooing her or sweeping her off her feet with your mad skills? The only people I'm allowing to do this is Eddie Vedder and Adam Sandler. The rest of you... stop it. stop it right now.
8.) "Whatever you want, babe". There is nothing more anti climatic than climbing into your date's car and then him telling you, "You know, I didn't really plan on anything. So I thought we could maybe get food and then... I don't know. Just do whatever." Fellas, fellas, fellas.... Plan a basic outline! don't tell her ya got nothin! Even if you do got nothin, act like you have somethin!
9.) Youtube Screenings. Going to your place and sitting around your laptop while showing your date your favorite youtube videos. Please, I do this a) by myself at work b) with roommates at one in the morning c) with my nieces and nephews when we're bored.
10.) Doubling with a Really Touchy Couple or Even worse, an Engaged couple. I cant really focus on our riveting conversation of school majors and parking permits while the couple across from us is making out.
This list, I hope, helps both boys and girls from making terrible yet understandable mistakes in the future.
No comments:
Post a Comment